Walk With Me

And He walks with me and He talks with me

And He tells me I am His own

And the joy we share as we tarry there

None other has ever known

 

 

It's pretty amazing, the idea of taking a leisurely stroll with the Creator of the universe. I imagine that scene in the Garden of Eden, where Adam literally walked with God, the One who made him and all of creation around him.

 

Can we just take a step back and be stunned by that?

 

Equally stunning is this concept that we can wake up every day and take a walk with the same God -- yes, the very same One. I read somewhere that we naturally as a people are unfit for even the name of God to pass our lips. It's so true. That is how holy, how awesome, how magnanimous He is. And yet, in the stillness of the morning, just before we open our eyelids, He is waiting to walk with us. He walks with us every day, through trivial moments and heart-wrenching trials and months of numbness. He is always there to take our hand and bid us walk on with Him.

 

But can I just be honest and admit that countless mornings, I blatantly ignore that precious outstretched hand? That some days I look Him in the face and purposely turn away to do less important things? The most compellling excuses we find to neglect devotion with Him are often the most pitiful, meaningless ones. Have you found that to be so? It really is pathetic, how made of flesh we are. But can I also say that even on days when we so desire to ignore Him, He continues to love us and walk by our side? Is that not so beautiful? No lover, no friend, no family member on earth could ever be so devoted!

 

Dear reader, walk on with Him.

 

I started this blog a little over two years ago at a point in my life where I was really just beginning to learn how to walk with God. He spoke to me so tenderly and clearly in my little college dorm room in the midst of my junior year, and this blog has given me the chance to voice some of the things He has shown me. Though only two years ago did I really begin this journey, I am so much a different person from that time. That is one of the amazing things about our walk with the Lord -- we find as we walk that we are consistently changing, growing in grace with every step.

 

And that is not simply a trite phrase, "growing in grace." The farther along we are in this journey with our Savior, the more we realize how amazing His grace really is. The more we grow in such a truth, the more we watch all areas of our life blossom and bloom into breathtaking beauty. This is our God. He gives more grace (James 4:6). He makes all things beautiful in His time (Ecclesiastes 3:11). Anyone in Christ is a new creation, all things becoming new -- an ongoing, regenerating process (2 Corinthians 5:17)!

 

Because of His grace, I am still walking. At this stage in my life, I am overwhelmed by His blessing nature and steadast love. He has filled my heart with joy and gratitude. I do not deserve such a Savior in my life. I am also very much aware of just how human I am, disturbed by my countless limitations, but overjoyed at the thought that in my frailest state, He can use me best. So I look forward to that. I ask Him for the strength to surrender all of me on a daily basis -- a moment to moment basis, rather. And He carries me when I just don't have the strength anymore. All the way my Savior leads me, who have I to ask beside?

 

It is at such a place in my journey with the Lord that I have decided to stop blogging. If I decide to pick up blogging again, I will probably start from the ground up again, and I am not sure when that will be. We'll see where He leads. I hope this work has been encouraging. I love writing so much, and I hope you have enjoyed reading some of my posts. I wouldn't have kept writing and sharing if it had not been for you, dear reader, so I thank you sincerely for sharing a bit of the road with me.

 

 

 

 

Genesis 5 tells that Enoch walked with God, and he was no more, for God took him. Could it be that Enoch had such a close friendship with his Lord that one day, God just had to take him up to be with Him because He missed Enoch so dearly? What if we walked with Him like that? If you will pray for me, reader, I will pray for you, that such a walk can be ours. That we can take advantage of as many opportunities as we possibly can to be close with Him. He has loved us with an everlasting love and cares for us beyond the sin and shame.

 

Keep walking close to Him.

 

 

The voice of my Beloved!

Behold, He comes,

leaping over the mountains,

bounding over the hills ...

My Beloved speaks and says to me,

"Arise, my love, my beautiful one,

and come away ...."

Song of Solomon 2:8,10

 

 

 



Not For A Moment

"For He Himself has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.'"  Heb. 13:5

He Will

Trust in the Lord, and do good;

dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.

Delight yourself in the Lord,

and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord;

trust in him, and he will act. 

Psalm 37:3-5 

Stones

We will use these stones to build a memorial. In the future, your children will ask you, "What do these stones mean?"

Then you can tell them, "They remind us that the Jordan River stopped flowing when the Ark of the Lord's Covenant went across." These stones will stand as a memorial among the people of Israel forever.  -- Joshua 4:6-7

If each one of us looks back at his / her life, we can clearly trace a beautiful pathway of God's faithfulness to us. Just as someone embarking into new territory leaves a trail of pebbles behind him to bring him back to the beginning again, it is vital for a Christian to remember those moments of God's deliverance, His miracles, His faithfulness, by recording them upon a page, by marking them upon his heart, or by sharing them aloud with others beside him. With these testimonies, we can leave a trail behind us for others to follow and for us to fall back upon when we have forgotten the way to the Father.

I have always love the idea of the Ebenezer, the monument of stone set aside to remind us of what God has done. A stone is an immovable object -- something that withstands the test of time. Just like God, who is immovable, who is our rock:

The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; my God, my strength in whom I will trust -- Psalm 18:2

For who is God, except the Lord? And who is a rock, except our God? -- 2 Samuel 22:32

Such said David, a man who endured the most chaotic circumstances in his lifetime. Nothing in his life was ever quite stable -- except for His God. He was the rock David leaned upon in all things. What an encouragement to each of us that in the midst of what may be crazy, turbulent times, one thing, one Person remains the same. He is God, our Rock.

I just want to encourage whoever may be reading to not give up. Look upon the trail behind you of every incident in which God came through for you. He has answered every prayer and heard every cry. Even if the trail behind you may be hard to see in the darkness of forgetfulness, there is one stone at the very beginning which shines brighter than all the rest -- that is the moment of your salvation, when Christ first walked into your life. From even before that day, He has walked beside you and performed wonders in your life. You are a miracle of His grace.

Keep leaving those stones of remembrance behind you. They are not only testimonies for those around you, but they will guide you back home. I imagine that on the day when we stand before the throne of God, when our past is playing before us, we will see a dazzling, macadam pathway tracing through our entire life reflecting His immaculate glory. He is with you always, dear one, even to the end of the age.

 

Morning by morning, I wake up to find

The power and comfort of God's hand in mine

Season by season, I watch Him amazed,

In awe of the mystery of His perfect ways

All I have need of, His hand will provide

He's always been faithful to me

**From the hymn "He's Always Been Faithful," as sung by Chelsea Moon 

 

The Gaze of Grace

Some thoughts, after I cried tonight when I heard these tender lyrics:

Jesus bends to hear you breathe
And His tender hands are holding you tonight
And His heart is ravished when you look, when you look at Him
And oh, the endless mercy in His eyes

It's alarming yet immensely comforting that there is nowhere I could go to escape His presence.

I've come to realize that one of my biggest fears is that of being pursued, chased. I admit sheepishly that my heart rate increases and chills run down my spine when I feel someone running, or even walking close behind me. Granted, if a person chased me with the intent to harm me, then the reflex to run is probably a safe one. But my heart hurts when I realize that I do this to God Himself.

His closeness is chasing me. And I run. I know I've mentioned before that I fear intimacy. There remains this fear of turning around and looking directly into His eyes -- the endless mercy in His eyes. Why does it hurt so much, His tender gaze? Because deep down within, my pride is burning in a painful demise.

In worship, whether I'm singing on a stage or in the quiet corner of my living room, I am always given those moments to turn and gaze. Actually, worship literally means to "turn and kiss." So we not only turn around in moments of worship to face His visage. Worship entails action: adoration, connection, vulnerability, surrender.

Maybe it's falling. Releasing clenched fingers of pride and self-sufficiency which cling so desperately to the ledge of merit and will, and falling into His arms of grace. Grace is so humbling. It's certainly unfair. I could be a Pharisee my entire life, yet all of my pride built upon religious ritual would melt beneath it's warmth and light. A grace so glorious.

I never had a "conversion" so to speak, a dramatic turn from sin which thrust me suddenly at the foot of the cross. I have always known who God is, who Jesus is. I lamented to Jesus one night, "God, why don't I have a testimony like so many others? I need a radical conversion." But He whispered gently into my ear, "You don't need a radical conversion, Noelle. You need only to experience my love and grace full-fold." It has been such a gradual process to adopt this idea of grace, even throughout the years of remaining close to the truth of Christ. But the older I get, the more I recognize the sinner within myself, the more I recognize my need for grace the same as anybody else.

Maybe Grace is something we will wrestle with our whole lives, something that we may never understand while we are trapped in this fleshly vessels so prone to prideful ways.

This verse rings loud and clear ever and always: By grace we have been saved, through faith. We didn't earn it ourselves -- it's a gift from God. It's not of works, even if we are tempted to think so.

I think that the more we make a heartfelt, honest attempt to grasp grace, our eyes will be opened to His hands that are holding us, to the beaming smile of the Father of lights, to the endless mercy in His eyes. Grace is freedom from hiding and shame. Its fervency chases us. If we understand this great grace, our natural response would be to turn and kiss, to worship and embrace, to hold onto the joy that it brings and never, ever let go.

Oh Abba, thank You for Your great grace!





** Lyrics from "Little Light" by Matt Hammitt
   Verse a paraphrase of Ephesians 2:8

I Shall Not Want

A hymn that has been speaking to me (or rather, speaking for me) lately,

performed by the beautiful vessel that is Audrey Assad.

 

 

"When I taste Your goodness, I shall not want ..."

 

 



Endure

Because of the strong urging of a friend tonight over coffee to go home and write something, I'm going to oblige and share very briefly (or maybe not so briefly) a few verses that have spoken rather loudly to me in this season:

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to His great mercy, He has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 

to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you,

who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials ...

In a study through the book of James that my women's small group and I are going through, we were asked to read through these scriptures, taken from I Peter 1:3-6 in regards to experiencing trials. James had said that "blessed" is the man who endures great trial -- how is that? Well these verses above tell us.

I'll be honest -- these past few months have been some trying ones for various reasons. My church body and women's group have all been experiencing trials simultaneously, and we have been in need of some comfort. After reading these verses however, we were simply blown away at what comfort there is for us.

For those of you reading who are struggling with various trials (note Peter says various -- there are so many different trials that can come our way), please take heart with me in the incredible promise we have in Jesus, the resurrected Lord of all who has defeated death (please pause and fully embrace what that statement actually means for you) and right now keeps a place for you in His heaven.

 His mercy is great. Our God is one of compassion -- always. He is mercy and He is hope. There is hope for you, oh saint! When Jesus rose from death itself, He becomes now and always a living, breathing hope for us! He lives forever and waits for us to join Him in eternity, where He can hold us close in a fervent, fixed embrace.

 We have an inheritance. Because God has chosen to call us His children, we have the inheritance of eternal life. Think of what that means! We don't have to fear death anymore, and we have a vast amount of heavenly wealth stored up for us in Christ. We didn't earn it, so we don't have to worry about losing it. It remains because of the grace of Jesus, our Savior.

God's power guards us. Guess what, believer? We are protected by God Himself! We are guarded through the faith we have in His goodness, and by Jesus' gift once and for all, we have salvation -- which I do not think we will fully recognize until we reach heaven. That is why we will be floored and want to worship Him forever and ever ...


And so we rejoice in all these things promised to us!! But Peter acknowledges that, yes, we will be grieved by trials. He doesn't say that we can avoid them, nor does he say that we will necessarily walk through them easily. Trials are grievous. They're hard. Jesus knows that. He endured more pain, emotional and physical, than I think we realize. He embraced it. He didn't stop himself from weeping at his friend Lazarus' death, nor did he stop the sweat from pouring as He prayed anxiously in the Garden. He felt. He grieved. What makes us think we are above Him as to not be grieved in the same way? It's okay to grieve and go through pain. We are humanity living in a fallen world.

But, for the joy that was set before Him -- that heavenly storehouse waiting for Him to return to -- He endured (Heb. 12:2). As we are called to endure. And He did so to death -- even the death of the cross (Phil. 2:8). We, His servants, are certainly no greater than our Master. If He endured trials, so must we. And as He rose from death, so will we -- when we leave this place, we will be called to our real home, that great Home in God Himself which gave our Jesus the strength to keep persevering.

Beloved, we serve a God of mercy. We have a living hope. We will partake of a glorious inheritance. We are guarded by the power of God Himself through our faith. What cause to rejoice! Be encouraged. We will walk through trials, but there is One who has walked the road before us who to this day chooses to walk with us. You are loved, child of God!

 

"Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been proved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him."  -- James 1:12

 

 

Love

See from His head, His hands, His feet

  Sorrow and love flow mingled down

    Did e'er such love and sorrow meet,

      Or thorns compose so rich a crown?


      Were the whole realm of nature mine

    That were an offering far too small

  Love so amazing, so divine,

Demands my soul, my life, my all

Kingdom Come

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.          Matthew 6:33

Lately, I've found that my life has been about the "things" -- as a human being, I have a natural tendency to contract attention deficit disorder, letting my fleshly eyes dart around with worldly distractions. Jesus knows how we humans become so consumed by our mortal lifestyles, from the food we eat to the clothes we put on. Why do you think He would make an entire sermon out of our craving for these things?

Hey, I'm guilty. I'm a nervous wreck about what foods I can and can't eat. I covet what other people wear. And I have the nerve to let all of this stuff stress me out and make me anxious. 

I think I get what Jesus was really trying to say in this verse. He knows how easy it is for us humans (He did create us after all) to become absorbed by the earth we were created from. He understands how our little minds barely have the capacity to focus on our daily needs, much less the greater good. But there is more. We don't have to be anxious. What good does that do us? And how can we be anxious when we realize what -- or whom -- the kingdom of God really is?

He says today, there is something so much better out there. There is so much more to this life. There is a kingdom, reigned by an Almighty King, such as the world has never seen before. We envision failures of men when we try to think of rulers. But this King is perfect in passion and great in grace. 

Through all the worry, I have seen the kingdom of God grow dimmer and dimmer in the distance. So He told me, Seek My kingdom first, and My righteousness which prevails upon all men (my own is like filthy rags), and the rest will be added unto you. 

What does He mean by that? He means to say that if we allow ourselves to be entirely consumed by His kingdom (and when we truly know Him, we will see the true worth of that kingdom) and His righteousness (and the great sacrifice in which He gave us that perfection and beauty), everything else will merely be added. All that we think our lives revolve around will be but an addition, a bonus to our existence. 

When we offer our lives to be consumed by the living God and His kingdom, the things of this world could not possibly make us anxious. We will have all we need in Him. His kingdom is all beauty and providence. He calls all to His gates.   

It's refreshing to hear these words that Jesus spoke, yet how many times do we continue in our fleshly pattern of worry and distraction? I'm guilty again. So I'm encouraging you (or maybe simply reminding you) to make His kingdom priority. Trust the King more and be rid of that fear. Relinquish control of your own life, let the King have control, and quench that anxiety. Get over your own life and wrap yourself in His. Stop seeing His kingdom as merely the means to all the "things" and see it as the beginning and end of all things. I am guilty of all of these, but I want to turn around and run toward His kingdom gates.

When we let ourselves become lost in the glory of His kingdom and the beauty of His righteousness, I think we'll actually begin to live the way we were meant to. Everything else will be simply added.

An Ant at the Door

Cut and pasted from Spurgeon's beloved Morning & Evening Devotional.
This is God's voice speaking to each of us -- be encouraged!


"I will help you, says the Lord." Isaiah 41:14

"This morning [and every day] let us hear the Lord Jesus speak to each one of us: "I will help thee." "It is but a small thing for Me, thy God, to help thee. Consider what I have done already. What! not help thee? Why, I bought thee with My blood. What! not help thee? I have died for thee; and if I have done the greater, will I not do the less? Help thee! It is the least thing I will ever do for thee; I have done more, and will do more. Before the world began I chose thee. I made the covenant for thee. I laid aside My glory and became a man for thee; I gave up My life for thee; and if I did all this, I will surely help thee now. In helping thee, I am giving thee what I have bought for thee already. If thou hadst need of a thousand times as much help, I would give it thee; thou requirest little compared with what I am ready to give. 'Tis much for thee to need, but it is nothing for me to bestow. 'Help thee?' Fear not! If there were an ant at the door of thy granary asking for help, it would not ruin thee to give him a handful of thy wheat; and thou art nothing but a tiny insect at the door of My all-sufficiency. 'I will help thee.'"

   

"O my soul, is not this enough? Dost thou need more strength than the omnipotence of the United Trinity? Dost thou want more wisdom than exists in the Father, more love than displays itself in the Son, or more power than is manifest in the influences of the Spirit? Bring hither thine empty pitcher! Surely this well will fill it. Haste, gather up thy wants, and bring them here-thine emptiness, thy woes, thy needs. Behold, this river of God is full for thy supply; what canst thou desire beside? Go forth, my soul, in this thy might. The Eternal God is thine helper."

Preliminary Praise

I love the idea of "New Year's" -- the concept of starting over, of wiping the slate clean from the past year, and being invigorated for whatever changes lie ahead. I am all for a fresh start. Sometimes, I catch myself favoring the simplicity and excitement of New Year's over the hustle and stress of the Christmas holiday (how unfortunate our society has made it that way).

This past year entailed many transitions for me, and consequently much personal growth. I cannot say I am fully adjusted to such transitions quite yet, but I am holding onto the hope that Jesus is with me through this growing process and will see it through.

But outside of the personal, I am growing ever excited to see what God has in store this year for His children around the world -- those present and those yet to be adopted into His family.

If there is a fresh fire stirring in my own little chuch in Southern California, I have great expectations that fires are spreading across the globe. Something is about to happen. God's people are being stirred up. We are getting attacked and tested on all sides. Preparation for a great work is in motion.

Some thoughts shared by my beloved pastor in regards to this new work that is on the horizon:

God's past faithfulness demands our present trust.

We must trade the greatness of our task for the greatness of our God.

If we never step out of our own means, we'll never see what God means.

Let us stay close to Jesus to see what He might do ...

I am anticipating the revolution of God's church. I truly hope such a revolution is not limited to my own local church body, but that it will arise from all across the globe. Our God is a big God with magnificent plans.

Oh, that we would not limit Him, nor that we would not limit ourselves with tiny prayers burdened with fears, doubts, unbelief. Oh, that we can pray bigger. That we can get closer. Fall deeper. Carry more hearts inside our own.

Our Jesus prayed for us so fervently in that upper room so long ago:

I do not ask for [the twelve disciples] only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me.

With this fresh start that we have been given, it is my prayer that we would take God seriously, that we would pray more for the unity of the church (for such brings us in closer unity with God), that we would have no reservations or walls around our hearts, and that our soul's intention would be to make God's kingdom even bigger by drawing more souls to Him. The kingdom of heaven is very near. There is no time to waste.

Let us be praising our Father God for what He is going to do.

 Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

For yet a little while, and the coming one will come and will not delay; but my righteous one shall live by faith, and if he shrinks back, my soul has no pleasure in him. But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls. 

**John 17:20-21 ; Hebrews 10:23-25 ; 10:37-39

2014

O death, where is your victory?

O death, where is your sting?

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law.

But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.

I Corinthians 15:55-58


Death is done away with for you and me.

For every defeat in our lives, there is a greater victory in Jesus.

So stand fast in the Lord, you who have been redeemed from death and the bondage of the law, and serve Him wholeheartedly this next year and always.

Happy New Year!

Love,
Noelle

The With

"The Christian faith doesn't have a prescription for how God fixes our problems.

It doesn't have a simple formula for how and when healing happens or how and when eternal life follows death.  

Instead, Christians simply believe that the greatest power in the universe is God's desire to be in relationship with us,  

a relationship we don't earn so we call it joy,  

a relationship we can't match so we call it love,  

a relationship that never ends so we call it glory,  

a relationship that costs God everything so we call it grace.  

And that desire and that relationship are stronger than the other forces in our lives - evil, sin, and death.  

To be a Christian means to be transformed by the discovery that God is with us in such a way that we stop noticing or counting what God does for us.  

It's not about the for. It's about the with."

Samuel Wells 

Praise Befits the Upright

"Shout for joy in the Lord, O you righteous!  

Praise befits the upright.

Give thanks to the Lord with the lyre ...  

Sing to Him a new song; play skillfully on the strings with loud shouts.  

For the word of the Lord is upright, and all his work is done in faithfulness."  

Psalm 33:1-4

Even in the hard times, ALL of God's work is done in faithfulness. His Word still stands as our plumb line of righteousness and testifies of the One who has made us righteous.

And so our calling remains to shout, to sing, to praise Him with the talents He has given us! For such is only appropriate for those who have been saved by Him. Praise and thanksgiving set us apart as His children!

"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good and His steadfast love endures forever!

Let the redeemed of the Lord say so ...."

Psalm 107:1-2 

So let your praise be contagious. It befits you, His beloved one.
 

Less Like Gold

Regarding relationships ...

Just wanted to pass off some words of wisdom -- or so I truly believe they are.

My brother and I have been talking about relationships -- those which might result in marriage -- because he has become rather close to a young woman in his life. Why he would ask me (the single lady) for advice, I have no idea!

He holds this young lady so close to his heart and was asking me how to spend time with her, grow with her, love her, all at the right timing and capacity -- definitely a tough balance! Especially since he is still asking God for wisdom on whether or not He would be calling him to pursue her. All I could think to tell him was to love her as purely as Christ loves her, and he responded by saying this:

I want to treat her less like gold and more like Christ does!

I think there is a lot of truth in that!

 

When you love a person like Christ loves them, you are loving them out of a sacrificial, passionate heart whose ambition is to seek out their good, their spiritual/emotional health, their growth! On the other hand, turn a woman (or man) into gold in your eyes and you put them on a pedestal, idolize them, and risk love turning into lust. They become nothing more than a gilded image in your eyes that you fear you might shatter, or lose! If you truly love a person, you will surrender them into the Father's will and ask Him how He might love that person. Often that means incredible self-control, humility, and patience. Surrender. That is certainly not easy.

 

But out of such, the purest relationships can result -- or so I imagine and hope!

 

Just thought I would share, and I truly hope it is sound. Blessings!

Hidden Blessings

It was just one of those mornings. As I was leaving to go to work and locking the door behind me, before I could say, "Thank God it's Friday," I closed the door and realized in horror that I had just locked my keys in my house.

My dad was already teaching his first period class and my mom had just left for Bible study. So I quickly called her to ask if we had a hide-a-key somewhere outside of the house, to which she said no. But your grandpa might have a copy of our house key, she offered hopefully. When I called him up, sure enough, he had one and said he would be right over. In less than five minutes, I saw his bright red Chevy pick-up pull around the corner, and after a hug, my grandpa handed me the house key so I could run inside the house and grab my own keys.

Funny how I didn't even expect to see my grandpa that day, even though he lives just a few blocks away. Mind you, this is my father's father, not the husband of my Grandma Grace (my mother's mother) who recently passed away. I realized that if I hadn't locked my keys in the house that morning, I wouldn't have had the chance to get a hug from my grandpa that morning or hear his chuckle as he told me how his mischevious dog brought a possum into the house the night before.

Driving to work, I thought about how I might not have a lot of time left with my grandparents. I would never have expected my Grandma Grace to contract the illness that she did that caused her time here to be much shorter than it could have been. I thought about how thankful I was to see my Grandpa Chuck that morning, how grateful I am to be his granddaughter, to share a love of music and poetry with him (he, like me, loves to write poetry), and to go to live theater and concerts with him. He once took me to see a play/concert celebrating the music of Irving Berlin, just the two of us (I was the youngest person in that theater by at least 25 years), and it was such an wonderful time.

I love my grandparents. Upon my grandma's passing away I realized that I had, if you will, no regrets. I mean I am thankful to have spent so much incredible time with that precious lady, really getting to know her, all about her. There is always so much to know about a person, but I had the privilege of developing not only a solid grandmother/daughter relationship, but a genuine friendship. I realize that I want/have wanted the same with all of my grandparents. I want to go to more concerts and write more poetry with my Grandpa Chuck, go to Barnes and Noble to geek out over books a hundred more times with my Grandma Maggie, and melt in the tender hugs of my so much more vulnerable Grandpa Tony. The world might see them as outdated, out of touch, or perhaps a bit too smothering, but no matter what they say, grandparents are truly such precious people.

I encourage you if you have family, no matter how immediate or distant, old or young that you feel you don't know all that well, please take the time to. You have no idea how much time you have left with them on this earth. And you have no idea how much of a gift they can be in your life. To know people -- really know them -- is a joy given to us by God. Friendship is a beautiful thing, beyond what words can express. Think of how many people God has placed in your life, in your family, your school, your workplace, your church -- think of how many opportunities are knocking on your front door to explore the depths of someone's soul and often find it is much like your own.

Pay a visit to your grandfather or grandmother. Make a phone call to a parent you maybe haven't talked to in a long while. Get to know that customer who comes in twice a week. Sit next to that student in the back corner and grab a coffee with them after class. It'll mean the world to them and may just end up changing your own world entirely.

And whether it's locking your keys in the car or stalling on the side of the road like my brother did later that night, take advantage of opportunities you have for your world to collide with that of your grandfather or the tow-truck driver who comes to your rescue. God may be offering you a hidden blessing.

Amazing Grace

 

 

On Monday morning, my Grandma Grace found herself in the arms of Jesus, finally free of a body weak and run down. But even though her body had grown weary, never did her spirit wane or her faith in her Jesus waver. What a legacy she left to her family!

 

I try to think of words to describe this beautiful woman. All I can say is that she lived up to her name, Grace. One particular definition of "grace" puts it this way:

An unmerited gift, favor, or blessing granted by God

And truly, this lady was an unmerited gift from God. None of us deserved her laughter, joy, or incomparable hospitality and generosity. She was an example of faith to me in so many ways. She never complained, even through her illness, and was always thinking of others. Even when she could no longer speak, she always sent encouraging texts with prayers and scriptures, and loved worshiping with each of her grandchildren.

Her warmth is missed already, but I am so glad that she has traded her discomfort for eternal glory. As it says in a psalm my good friend sent me:

My soul longs, yes, even faints for the courts of the Lord; my heart and flesh cry out for the living God .... Blessed are those who dwell in Your house; they will still be praising You.

What a comfort to know that after all of the longing my grandmother has done for the courts of her Lord, she is dwelling in His house now and will continually be praising Him.

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only, but also to all who have loved His appearing.

 II Timothy 4:7-8

 

I love you, Grandma Grace
May 9, 1934 - October 7, 2013



An Ebenezer

"Is there a God besides Me? Indeed, there is no other Rock; I know not one." Isaiah 44:8

"He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory; the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us." Psalm 62:6-8 

"In the day when I cried out, You answered me, and made me bold with strength in my soul." Psalm 138:3 

"Nevertheless I am continually with You; You hold me by my right hand .... Who have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You." Psalm 73:23,25  

Strength Will Rise ...

First off, I want to thank the Lord for meeting with me today in a very real, tangible way. I thank You, Father, for the little glimpses we get of You here on earth. Thank You for increasing my faith.

To be honest, I didn't feel like reading the Word this morning -- ever have those days? It's been a trying season. Lately it seems as though every time I step into deeper waters with God, drawing nearer to His heart, asking for His Spirit, pouring myself out in ministry and encouraging/serving others, I get hit that much harder with spiritual attack. Even last night I wrestled with wave after wave of doubt, fear, and depression and cried out, God, I just can't do this anymore. My family has been going through a lot of lately. But this morning, His Spirit was pressing me to open up His Word yet again.

He brought me to Psalms. God, I've read these before, I told him, expecting to change His mind or something. *face-palm* But He led me to a psalm I don't think I had delved deeply into before.

By the beginning of Psalm 31, I was hooked:

In You, O Lord, I put my trust; let me never be ashamed; deliver me in Your righteousness. Bow down Your ear to hear me, deliver me speedily; be my rock of refuge, a fortress of defense to save me ...

I read on and on, the Spirit refreshing me with the simple yet timeless truth that God is still my strength -- cuz right now, I feel as though I have none. Not only that, He is my defender. My mom and I have both had our share of injustices done toward us and people we love, so it is indeed comforting to know that God is a God of justice who comes to the defense of His children. Here is yet another beautiful reminder:

For You have considered my trouble; You have known my soul in adversities ...

Here I had felt as though I had dropped off of God's radar. But here, the psalmist confesses that God knows exactly what we're going through. He knows my soul in the hard times. He sees the tears we cry. He knows and understands when our souls cry out, God, I just can't take this anymore -- it's too hard. But who better to know us than the Lord Himself? I mean, really? Where else could we go?

The final verse hit me the hardest:

Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the Lord.

If I can be honest, I had given up in this area. Courage is a choice -- and I have felt as though I have not made the choice to fight or be courageous. Nor had I really had a solid hope that the Lord would come through in certain situations. But here is a promise, that if I indeed take courage, and hope in my Lord again with all the faith I can muster, He will strengthen my heart.

God must have anointed me with faith again, because I started to pray that I would indeed take this promise to heart as I went throughout the day. In fact, I wanted to write that verse down on my hand so that I wouldn't forget it!

But I turned out that I didn't have to. At work today, I was operating the register at the drive-thru window, getting lost in the chaos of cars and cash, when a smiling man drove up in his little beat-up Honda. I knew I had seen that smile before. When I handed him his change, I knew I had even felt those shaky hands before. It was when he pulled out some brightly colored cards and said, "Pick one!" that I remembered -- He was the guy who had come through my workplace before and handed us workers his scripture cards. So I picked one, the green one. My friend working with me also picked one. After I said a smiling goodbye to the man and he drove off, I looked at the scripture on the card I just picked. Wouldn't you know it, this was the verse he handed me:

Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord. -- Psalm 31:24, KJV

All I seemed to hear was God saying, "Noelle, I'm right here. I've never left you. I am right here with you. And if you continue to hope in me, dearest one, I WILL strengthen your heart." And He did.

You see, tomorrow is my last day at this job that I have been in for more than two years: definitely bittersweet. I had this hunch that God was indeed calling me to quit -- I say hunch because I am still plagued with a sense of doubt that it was the right decision! Especially when I consider all the people -- coworkers and customers -- that I am leaving behind. And considering that God would call me out without giving me another job to lean on. The world would shout at me, Are you crazy? Quitting before you know what you're doing afterwards? That's stupid! And to be honest, I still feel a little stupid about it. But God has been doing a lot through my resignation. He's already been doing a lot through my boss. And in that beautiful little affirmation through that little green scripture card given by that smiling man, God has given me some insane peace that it's all going to work out. So I am going to hope in the Lord. 

After church tonight, as another sweet affirmation from God, we sang these well-known (yet no less encouraging!) lyrics in the closing song:

You are the everlasting God ...

You're the defender of the weak 

You comfort those in need

You lift us up on wings like eagles ...   

Fully believing and trusting God's promises is not always easy, especially when we go through times when things just aren't working out the way we think they should, or at least what seems logical or reasonable to us. But I am slowly learning that God is not inside our box--He is the uncreated One who is completely beyond us. If He is that much more above us, how much more worthy is He of our complete trust? Who else could we ever trust? Who else could we possibly turn to? He is the only One. My problems and struggles are far from being resolved, but if I truly believe that He is ALL I need--my defender, my strength, my hope now and always--then I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. And I will be soaring like an eagle.   

Identity

From King's Cross by Timothy Keller

Jesus is saying, "It's not enough just to know me as a teacher or as an abstract principle; you have to look at my life. I went to the cross--and on the cross I lost my identity so you can have one.

Once you see the Son of God loving you like that, once you are moved by that viscerally and existentially, you begin to get a strength, an assurance, a sense of your own value and distinctiveness that is not based on what you're doing or whether somebody loves you, whether you've lost weight or how much money you've got. You're free--the old approach to identity is gone. Nobody put this better than C. S. Lewis in the last two pages of his Mere Christianity, where he comments on Jesus' call to lose yourself to find yourself:

The more we get what we now call "ourselves" out of the way and let Him take us over, the more truly ourselves we become ... our real selves are all waiting for us in him ... The more I resist Him and try to live on my own, the more I become dominated by my own heredity and upbringing and surrounding and natural desires. In fact what I so proudly call "Myself" becomes merely the meeting-place for trains of events which I never started and I cannot stop. What I call "My wishes" become merely the desires thrown up by my physical organism or pumped into me by other men's thoughts ... It is when I turn to Christ, when I give myself up to His personality, that I finally begin to have a real personality all of my own ... [Nevertheless], you must not go to Christ for the sake of [a new self]. As long as your own personalitty is what you are bothering about you are not going to Him at all.

If you go to Jesus to get a new personality, Lewis says, you still haven't really gone to Jesus. Your real self will not come out as long as you are looking for it; it will only emerge when you're looking for him.

 

***

"Whoever desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel's will save it."  -- Mark 8:34-35