I hate the times in my day when I have just a little gap of time before moving from one task to the other, or driving from one place to another, whether it is as excruciating as an hour or as frustrating as 20 minutes. But I absolutely hate trying to find things to do to kill time. Those are the times when a smartphone might come in handy (dare I even say it) so I could just surf the web for a little while. For those unfortunate times when I didn't bring a book with me, what else is there to do but twiddle my thumbs or chill in my car? Idle time for me is like pulling teeth.
One afternoon, I was at home, almost ready to drive away to God knows where, and I had to kill about 10 or 15 minutes of time. I groaned as I thought to myself, Well, I can always just log onto Facebook, however pathetic that sounds. But as I reached for my laptop and opened the lid, some kind of supernatural reality hit me. Hard. I can't really put it into words, but all of a sudden, I remembered God.
I remembered that God is always around me.
I remembered that He created the universe.
I remembered that He created me.
I remembered that He loved me.
I remembered that He gave His very life for the idle moments, for the moments that hang in the balance, the moments I need to "kill" -- for in those moments, He desires to speak to me. And vice versa. He rejoices for the moments out of our busy lives when we look around and say, Wow, I have nothing to do, nowhere to go, no one to talk to.
God inhabits those moments.
It is these very moments that we were created for.
We were not meant to stress ourselves out, to make ourselves so busy, to hurry out the door to beat the morning traffic and scurry to make it on time to our 9 to 5 shifts. We were not meant to become glued to our computer screens on social networking sites. We were not meant to be bent over our smartphones all day waiting for a new text, a new facebook notification, a business call, even a message from a boyfriend/girlfriend. So since when did we make these things so important, so consuming of our time?
And I complain about the moments when I have time to kill?! Sounds to me like I've been mercilessly slaughtering time already with these pointless pursuits!
Okay, I'm not saying I need to quit my job, sell my car, ditch my phone, or dump my boyfriend (my figurative one, that is). What I am saying is that I want to start living for the moments I was created for: time alone with my God and Savior, my Maker and Husband, the One who died for the time which I am so anxious to kill.
If I ever have a moment of down-time in my pathetically busy day, I would so love to do what this verse says: "Be still, and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10)
To do what this verse says is to stop, pause, be still, and remember. Remember who God is. Remember what He has done. Remember that He is great, that He will be exalted among the nations and in the entire earth. Remember that He is omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent. But most of all, remember that God is love. And that's not just a petty cliché. That statement packs a powerful punch. Read His Word, His love letter, and you'll see what I mean.
I want to check my time. I want to live my life the way it was meant to be lived. I want to spend every spare moment I can praising the God of time or engaging in precious, timeless conversation with Him. He is the reason I live, after all.
Are you killing time? Or are you using it for its true purpose?
"And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life ..."
"Know that the Lord, He is God; it is He who has made us, and not we ourselves ..."
"For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name ..."
" ... Yet I will not forget you. See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands."